Robert Comedownonme Jr.
01 May 2020 @ 11:06 pm

my heart is like a rock
it will not change
my heart is not a mat
it cannot be rolled up
 
 
Robert Comedownonme Jr.
30 November 2016 @ 08:07 pm


• comment here if you would like me to send you a Christmas/holiday card!
• chances are i might have forgotten/lost your address (oops) so please remind me here!
• also tell me who you want me to address it to. unless you're cool w/me using your online handle
all comments are screened so no worries i got u ♥


cries i'm actually gonna do it this year ok i bought xmas cards and everything
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Robert Comedownonme Jr.
06 July 2016 @ 03:36 pm
 
alliteration dump )
 
 
Robert Comedownonme Jr.
29 June 2016 @ 12:43 am
ok i just need to say this here because i feel like if i put this on plurk i will incur the wrath of at least 90% of my timeline, but if i don't say anything at all i will probably explode. so.

spoilers ahoy, this is basically a rant tbh )
 
 
 
Robert Comedownonme Jr.
16 March 2016 @ 08:18 pm
i don't do poetry )
 
 
Robert Comedownonme Jr.
22 February 2016 @ 12:58 am
i've been so balls deep in fe:fates for the past two days that i didn't even have a chance to check plurk or actually plurk, nor have i had the chance to tag, or even just like. doing anything else aside from homework.

and you know, it's actually kind of nice.

i keep saying that i'll quit plurk and i guess by extension rp, but i never actually do it. i think it's because it's just been something that i've been doing for so long that it's hard to drop completely. and i do like rping, but i just wish the social aspect of it were better. the amount of drama i've experienced and am still sort of experiencing because of it is unbelievable. it's extended to plurk now because plurk is just so rp-centric these days nothing is safe anymore.

people were plurking about their rp pet peeves today and i honestly think my biggest pet peeve is when people get really disingenuous, which isn't really an rp pet peeve so much as like. a plurk/social pet peeve?? idk what to call it. i'm just so tired of people postulating to be someone else, or like cultivating some kind of "internet persona" for something as casual as rp. like you know those memes that's like "rl me vs. online me"--there is no rl and online divide for me. what you see online is how i really am and i've never tried to be anything different.

i've talked to a friend of mine about it before and she said that it's maybe because we're just getting too old for that stuff, we don't have the patience to be something we aren't when we're already investing so much time being fictional characters in the first place. maybe she's right, i'm not sure. i can't really expect people to be exactly how they are online as they are in real life obviously, and everyone has their own reasons for doing so. but when it starts actually hurting people, that's when it really bothers me.

but whatever. it's not like it matters anyway.

also i'm getting real tired of everyone in my goddamn life giving me the double standard. it's a pain in the ass and i just don't want to deal with anyone anymore. all i want to do is play fire emblem all day.
 
 
Robert Comedownonme Jr.
17 February 2016 @ 11:50 am
gross sobbing )
 
 
Robert Comedownonme Jr.
07 January 2016 @ 07:49 pm
 
i visited grandmother the other day and she doesn't remember me.

i already expected this from the beginning, but seeing her again in the hospital bed was a little like a punch in the gut. she raised me for a few years when i was young, took me to school and took care of me while my parents were working; those memories are still with me despite the amount of years that passed. mostly, i'm glad she's still here and coherent, she seems happy and that's all that really matters in the end.

it's a little weird introducing yourself to someone who doesn't remember you at all. i still don't know what to feel about this whole thing, but i've been taking solace in the fact that she's lived a long and good life. and i think that's ultimately what's most important.
 
 
Robert Comedownonme Jr.
16 December 2015 @ 11:56 pm
 
i realized i should have just posted here earlier instead of on my rp plurk but it's not like my rp plurk gets a lot of traffic anyway, so it works out.

anyway, i'm not sure if it's because of finals that tends to just suck all the life and inspiration out of me but i've just been feeling a little like crap re: plurk and rp in general lately. i know i've been having this issue for the past few months and idk how i can fix it. sometimes it's great and i'm hyped about all the plans i make with people, but i think once the semester started getting busier, i wasn't able to really do much with those plans. i get the feeling that a few people have kind of stopped talking to me because of it and it's a shitty feeling. i mean anyone can talk to whoever they want when they want to, but i can't help but notice that we don't talk as much as we used to, or like when i try to reach out to them i just get ignored.

i locked myself out of my main plurk for this week so that i could study for finals, but it just kind of made me realize how no one really gives a shit. i'm not expecting anyone to give me butt pats or whatever, but i can't shake off the feeling that if i'm unable to deliver in terms of rp, i'll just get dropped on the side. or like people just don't care about you outside of rp. i keep telling myself that i should just quit rp because it's been making me feel like shit so often this year, but i've been rping for like at least six years now and it's hard to just quit it completely. and this is not to say that i haven't met really nice people that i'd call my friends, like i've connected with a lot of people through rp and i think that's great. but there's still that barrier between online and irl that gets to me sometimes. out of all the people i've met, i think i only feel close to a handful of them despite the distance and timezone differences.

i'm just tired of feeling like crap over something that's supposed to be fun. i hate feeling all this doubt and second-guessing myself all the time.
 
 
Robert Comedownonme Jr.
08 December 2015 @ 10:53 pm
 
"Do you love me?"

Yes.

"Then I have everything I need."
 
 
Robert Comedownonme Jr.
13 November 2015 @ 06:57 pm


• comment here if you would like me to send you a Christmas/holiday card! from Hawaii!!!!!!!
• chances are i might have forgotten/lost your address (oops) so please remind me here!
• also tell me who you want me to address it to. unless you're cool w/me using your online handle
all comments are screened so no worries i got u bro ♥


cries i'm actually gonna do it this year i even bought xmas cards and everything i will try to send these out before my hong kong trip!
Tags:
 
 
Robert Comedownonme Jr.
09 November 2015 @ 01:45 am
 
idk late night musings at 1:46am )
 
 
Robert Comedownonme Jr.
01 October 2015 @ 11:01 pm
lmfao that time of night again when the insecurity hits you hard and doesn't let you go.

or you could get left behind )
 
 
Robert Comedownonme Jr.
22 August 2015 @ 03:26 pm
i was gonna do one of those "summer in review" posts but i realized that i've done nothing interesting other than work this whole summer lmao.

classes are starting up again on monday and i'm kind of dreading it a little. since i'm done with my english major requirements, i'm taking only my minor courses this semester and i'm not really feeling them as much as i did my english ones. i'm sure i'll probably end up getting into them once the semester starts but idk. i guess a big part of me wishes i did more this summer, spent more time with matt or something. but we've both been really busy with either summer school or work so i guess it can't be helped.

on the bright side, i'm gonna be working less how that i've got classes so maybe this is the break i need. i'm just super tired of feeling tired tbh. school wears me out too but in a different way that makes me feel less like i want to blow my brains out every day lmfao.
 
 
Robert Comedownonme Jr.
09 August 2015 @ 02:01 pm
i think i either need to take a break from my job or just find a new one. this summer we've had a record high of visitors and it's been taking its toll on me. i kind of regret taking up more hours, but we've lost a few people and we're even more short-staffed than before (when are we not short-staffed though, lbr) and i need the extra money since i won't be able to work as much during the semester. lately i've been thinking "is it really worth it?" i told myself i'd put in my two weeks when i graduate, which will be in may 2016 (thank fuck) -- that's not too far from now, but i kind of just want to quit already. this summer alone i've dealt with the most rude and ignorant people by far and it's been destroying my patience; by the time i get home i am tired and drained and i don't want to deal with anyone at all. it's been affecting my rp too, honestly, like i'm so tired? of just dealing with others in general. i'm lucky that most of my friends are super chill and haven't gotten upset at me tbh with how frustrated i've been. i think that's why i've been so off my game in terms of rp this summer, i mean technically i have more time but work has just been destroying that drive to do anything.

it makes me sad because i used to love working with people? i never really had a problem with customer service jobs but i think i've just had enough. i'm just so tired of being treated with disrespect and dealing with inconsiderate people for 8 hours straight nearly every day. working a customer service job doesn't make my job any less "real", there are people in the world who are lucky enough to have a job at all just so they can feed themselves and their family. a customer service job doesn't mean you can treat the people who serve you as less than a human being and not give them the respect that you expect them to give you.

i've just stopped talking about this on plurk because i feel like people will just think i'm using this as an excuse to not do my tags, or they'll be offended by something i say. idk. it's just really upsetting and frustrating in general. why do i even still rp anymore, tbh.
 
 
Robert Comedownonme Jr.
20 June 2015 @ 01:13 pm
 
i feel bad for whining about this here, but it's not like plurk and no one really checks these anyway, so.

it's been getting so hard for me to go home these days.

like, i just don't want to go home. especially not for the past few weeks. it's really frustrating when i come home to my mom and dad giving each other the cold shoulder and having her take her tension out on me. it also really pisses me off because they get pissed off at each other for the dumbest things and it's like why are you even wasting your energy on this bullshit? it's just really stressful and most of the time when i come home from work i honestly just want to be left alone to my own devices and do my own thing, but i can't do that when my mother is constantly yelling at me or accusing me for one reason or the other. i'd go out if i could but i'm running low on my paycheck and i need to start saving up more.

it's summer, i don't want to waste it stressing out over everything, but it's been getting ridiculously hard these days. a lot of small things are setting me off and my patience is wearing thin. not to mention, the drama at work has been getting especially bad and i've had enough of it already; tourists are assholes, our management is a douchenozzle, but that's nothing new.

i just want to be able to chill out for a few weeks before i have to start worrying about school again. that's all i want! just to relax and do the things i wanted to do during the semester but couldn't because i was too busy or stressed out. it's just getting increasingly difficult when there's drama everywhere i fucking go. i'm so tired of it.
 
 
 
Robert Comedownonme Jr.
06 December 2014 @ 05:03 pm

• comment here if you would like me to send you a Christmas card! from Hawaii!!!!!!!
• chances are i might have forgotten/lost your address (oops) so please remind me here!
• also tell me who you want me to address it to. unless you're coo' w/me using your online handle
• and no worries, all comments are screened! i got u bro ♥


since i'm moving this month and idk what my new address is gonna be, i figure it'd be easier for me to send some out rather than receiving! so hit me up ok C:
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Robert Comedownonme Jr.
so i'm a million years late but here is my contribution to the purse meme going around on plurk, except this is my makeup bag instead 'cause there's really nothing interesting in my purse and i don't carry a lot. also i wanted an excuse to update my journal because it's been like five months since my last post!

yoooooooo )